For Inquiries, Email Us At:

After being a victim the sun does show its face again. You will rise again and you will learn to trust again. You will have new ideas and develop new feelings." Stay as long as you like. You are safe here. With Much Love, Tricia Piazza

Children / Second Hand Abuse

My Image

My Image

Domestic Violence has a devasting impact on children and young people that can last into adulthood.  Domestic abuse services offer specialist emotional and practical support for children and young people affected by domestic abuse.  I would highly suggest that if your child has been a part of your domestic abuse you should seek the help that he/her needs.

Are the effects the same for every child?
Children can experience both short and long term cognitive, behavioural and emotional effects as a result of witnessing domestic abuse.  Each child will respond differently to trauma and some may be resillient and not exhibit and negative effects.

Children responses to the trauma of witnessing domestic abuse may vary according to a multitude of factors including, but not limited to, age, race, sex and stage of development.  It is equally important to remember that these responses may also be caused by something other than witnessing domestic abuse.

Children are indivduals and may respond to witnessing abuse in different ways. 

Listed are some of the effects of abuse:

      They may become anxious or depressed
      They may have difficulty sleeping
      They have nightmares or flashbacks
      They can be easily startled
      They may explain of physical symptoms such as tummy aches
      They may start to wet their bed
      They may have temper tantrums and problems with school
      They may behave as though they are much younger than they are
    They may become aggressive or they may internalise their distress and withdraw from other people
      They may have a lowered sense of self-worth
      Older children may begin to play with alcohol or drugs 
      Older children may begin to self harm themselves by overdosing
      Older children may begin cutting themselves or have an eating disorder

Children may also feel guilty, angry, insecure, alone, frightened, powerless or confused.  They may have ambivalent feelings towards both the abuser and the non-abusing parent.

Do children grow up and become abusers and/or victims?

The "cycle of violence" otherwise known as the "intergenerational theory" is often referred to when considering the effects of domestic abuse on children; however research findings are inconsistant, and there is no automatic cause and effect relationship.

Many people believe this theory is disempowering and ineffective when working with children.  A boy who has witnessed domestic abuse does not have to grow up to be an abuser and a girl does not have to grow up to be a victim of domestic abuse later in life.  

In school there shoul be educational programmes focusing on healthy relationships, and challenging gender inequality, sexual stereotyping, and domestic abuse, should be intergrated with work on anti bullying and conflict resolution as a mandatory part of the PHSE curriculum in all schools.  These would act as important preventive measures.

Abuse through child contact
Unfortunately, even after seperating from the abusers, many mothers find it extremely difficult to protect their children from ongoing abuse as a resultof their requirement to comply with the courtsThe origanizations supports a child's right to safe contact, but recognices that contacting with an abusing parent may ot always be in child's best interest.

Getting help and support
Advice for children and young people are important.
National Coaliation for domestic violence has 24 hour help. 
Talk to a teacher, a police officer, a priest/clergy/church. 
They will explain and help the children and young people to understand domestic abuse, and how to take positive action if it is happening to you.

Stay Safe.  
Cover your tracts
Warning:  if your worried about someone knowing you visited this website please read the following safety information.

Please note that the information below will not completely cover your tracts, if you want to be completely sure of not being tracked online, the safest way would be to access the internet at a local library, school, college or at a friend's house.

Also make sure that you don't add the website address for "Enuff is Enuff to your book marks.  Websites that you have visited are stored on your computer as "temporary internet files and "cookies".

How do I work out which brower I'm using?

If you know what browser you are using, then skip to the relevant instructions below.  If you do not know the type of browser you are using, click on help on the toolbar at the top of the browser screen.  A drop down menu will appear, the last entry will say About Internet Explorer, About Mozilla Firefox or something similiar.  The entry refers to which browser type you are using ~ you should then refer to the relevant instructions below.

Internet Explorer 7 & 8

Click on the tools menu and select internet options.  In the general page under browser History select the delete...button.  Either select and delete each section:
Temporary internet files; Cookies, History; Forms data and Passwords; or select the Delete all...button at the bottom to clear everything.

Mozilla Firefox 8

Click on Tools and Options.  Firefox bundles cookies, forms and history under the heading "history".  Click the privacy tab, then on "clear your recent history".  Select the information you want to delete.  Click on details to select cookies, forms etc.

To delete passwords click on the security tab where you can view all the passwords saved when you browse the web.  You can delete them here and remember not to allow Firefox to save them in the future.

In Firefox you (or someone accessing your computer) can actually read the passwords saved on your system.  If you use the password the same for many things consider changing them all if you have allowed your browser to save any.

You can also adjust how you want firefox to store your data under the privacy tab.


To remove history go to History, and click clear History.

To remove cookies go to settings (right hand side), Preferences, Privacy Tab and click Remove all Website Data (or Details to select certain sites.)

Chrome, Opera and other browsers
There are many new browsers on the market, so it is always advisable to search for advice on your own browser.


An email you have previously sent will be stored in sent items.  Go to sent items and delete emails you don't want a person to see.  If you started an email but didn't finish it, it might be in your drafts folder.  Go to the draft folder and delete it.

If you reply to any email, the original message will problary be in the body of the message - delete the email if you don't want anyone to see your original message.

When you delete an item in any email program (Outlook Express, Outlook Thunderbird etc.) it does not really delete the item - it moves the item to a folder called Deleted items.  You have to delete the items to remove them completely.

If there's a risk that someone may know how to access your emails, it is a good idea to set up a new email account.  Use a provider like Hotmail or Yahoo  for an account you can access from anywhere and use a name that is not recognisable as you, for example  Keep this email secret.

Toolbars such as Google, Aol, and Yahoo keeps a record of the search words you have typed into the toolbar search box.  In order to erase all the search words you have typed in, you will need to check the individual instructions for each type of toolbar.
For example, for the Google toolbar all you need to do is click on the Google icon, and choose "Clear Search" Hostory".  With AOL, to remove trace of the websites you've visited, hold down the "control" key and the "h" key. 

Is it happening to me?

How do you feel when you're home with your family?  Are there any warning signs to show that things aren't quite right?

My family has arguments and fights

__  Always     __  Sometimes     __  Never

I feel safe and supported at home 

__  Always     __  Sometimes     __  Never

One person in my family hurts another

__Always       __  Sometimes   ___  Never

I trust people in my family not to hurt me

__Always       __  Sometimes     ___Never

My family treat each other with respect

__Always       __ Sometimes     __Never

Home is a place where I often feel scared

__Always     __  Sometimes       __Never

Everyone in my family is cared for and made to feel important

__Always     __Sometimes       __Never

People call each other names which upsets me

__Always     __Sometimes       __Never

One person makes the other feel bad

__Always     __Sometimes     __Never

 Who live in a home where there is battering are likely to experience a variety of negative effects and problems
  • May be injured during an incident of violence
  • May suffer feelings of helplessness, they may even blame themselves for not preventing the violence or for causing it

  • May be abused and neglected themselves

  • Living with domestic violence experience unnaturally high levels of anxiety.

  • May suffer Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (similar to what war veterans suffer and other people who have had some form of trauma done to them)

  • Often experience difficulties in school

  • Living in violent homes have more frequent incidents of theft, insomnia, temper tantrums, and violence toward others than children raised in non-violent atmosphere

  • Who live in abusive homes have a higher risk of juvenile delinquency and substance abuse.

My Image

Warn children to stay out of the adults conflicts.

Make a list of people the children can trust and talk to when they are feeling unsafe.

Teach children to use police and other emergency phone numbers.

Decide ahead of time on a safe place the children can go when they feel unsafe.

My Image

My Image 

Talk to your parents if you can, or decide which friend, teacher, relative or police officer you can tell.

Telephone the Probation Department and speak with the assigned probation officer.

If the juvenile batterer is appearing in court, you have the right to be notified, to be present in court, to submit a statement to the court, 

in person or in writing, and to have a support person present.

My Image

My Image 

A child that is abused in one way or another is usually abused in other ways.

For example a child that is beaten may also be yelled at and intimidated.  

Every member of a family in which abuse occurs is affected.

An abused parent may take out their frustations and anger out on their children. 

Children who are abused or witness abuse may eventually abuse younger siblings, their own children, spouse, or elderly parents.

Intervention and counseling are necessary to combat long-term emotional damage.  

Boys and girls of all ages, race and economic backgrounds are 
the victims of abuse. 

Children ages five and over are abused more often than y
ounger children. 

However, when younger children and babies are abused, they 
are more likely to suffer serious injury or die. 

Also, children under the age of five are 
at a higher risk of being neglected.

As a minor, you can get a restraining order. 
A judge will decide if your parents should be notified.

For help with a restraining order, contact an advocate and see the Restraining Order Information.

My Image

My Image

© Patricia Piazza 2017 | Site By BSM